Friday, January 17, 2014

Current Events: Ticket Stock 2014

This is a big deal. Twenty years of the Ticket is upon us P1's. You might say, 20 years? That ain't that long in radio history. Hell, the Magliozzi brothers on NPR, our P2 station, talked about cars for 35 years. But they only did it once a week, and they were just two people. The Ticket was originally a community of about 10 people, from different generations and backgrounds, that banded together back in 1994 and have never looked back. Since then we have seen some bedrock changes, great additions and rising stars.The original 10 has expanded, but the founders are still here for the most part. And we get to hear them every day.

What a hell of a time to start a new blog, right? While we pile the Schlitz and Wild Turkey at the Wasteland honey hole in preparation for this party, lets plan out a sample Ticket Stock schedule for the big strong P1. If all the staff at the Wasteland offices can dig enough pennies out of our cup-holders we might just buy some Grey Hound bus tickets and trek on over from our far away ports of call. It might look something like this:
  • Friday: 
    • Noon - show up on time of course. Find Killer, give him a high five. 
    •  12:15 - Find bar, shot gun beer. Order a pitcher of buttery nipples and do our best Fake Norm laugh.
    • 12:30 - Find Danny. Spare him to death.
    • 12:35 - Shot gun beer.
    • 12:40 - Stand in a big group of people and watch some round tables. Yell vaginal slice born born at George.
    • 12:45 Shot gun beer. Realize that this pace of drinking is unsustainable. 
    • 12:50 - Talk to Ticket Chicks. Tell them they have nice feet. 
    • 1:00 - Wander over to Exhibit Hall A, get lost in a sea of high school cheer leaders and steal some pom-poms (poor choice of weekends NCA). Hold a fake Ted Cruz rally for an hour.
    • 2:30 - Watch Jim Jackson talk about sports. Eat a boom stick.
    • 3:00 - Shot gun beer. Teach TC how to Frumble. TC knocks himself out, but only for like a few seconds. 
    • 3:30 - Watch the real Michael Irvin talk to the fake Michael Irvin. 
    • 3:45 - Ask George for fake Michael Irvin autograph. Challenge George to bong three beers at once, he wins. 
    • 4:00 - 7:00 - Pass out in the Ticket Museum for 3 hours. 
    • 7:00 - Listen to behind the scenes perspective from all hosts. Gordo turns into Mush Mouth and tears entire stage down.
    • 7:30-10:00 - black out
    • 10:00 - Get kicked out of Ticket Stock. 
    • 10:10 - Fall asleep under I-30. Dream about Mike's curly hair. 
  • Saturday:
    • 9:30 - Wake up next to Gordo, walk back to Ticket Stock. 
    • 10:00  - Walk back into Ticket Stock, rummage through Ticket Museum for a change of clothes. Find Greggo's jersey from original Charity Challenge on Ice and Grube's pants from the 2009 Great Game. 
    • 10:30 - Shot gun beer. Gain Corby's favor and talk about TCU girls. Rub Donovan's shiny head.
    • 11:00 - 6:00 - Entire crowd recesses into Ticket Museum. Confused P1's watch NCA semifinals in exhibit hall D, Cat forgot to schedule Ticket Stock for Saturday afternoon.
    • 6:00 - Timewasters take the stage. Jub, Gordo and Junes are first and redo Captain Doo Doo song. Shot gun beer backstage.
    • 6:30 - Greggo rises up from middle of stage wearing Lord Humungus outfit, with microphone. Grubes drops from ceiling on a wire dressed as Ted Nugent circa 1979, with bass. Rocco Pendola walks through smoke screen stage rear with double necked electric guitar. Bela Flec is on his back playing banjo. Gordon wearing half-cat costume rolls on stage with piano. Jer plays drums from within Dr. Wierd's Insanoflex from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. They all play Let the Sunshine In's song "Aquarius".
    • 6:31 - Entire crowd is put into zombie like trance and begins to dance after Greggo removes his Lord Humungus mask revealing the location of all the drops lost during the move to the Victory station. 
    • 6:32 - Shot gun beer. 
    • 6:33 - Alerted by all the commotion, finalists from the NCA nationals arrive. Corby buys them all beer and goes to jail under supervision of Chief Brown. 
    • 6:35 - Cat takes the stage, restores order. 
    • 6:40 - Modano and Pudge are next, rescheduled at this time due to the cheer leading mix up. They do an impromptu rendition of My Little Buttercup as seen on the movie Three Amigos with Modano as Chevy Chase, Pudge as Martin Short and Mike Backsik as Steve Martin.
    • 6:50 - Organize frumble circle with entire Ticket staff.
    • 7:00 - Ticket Stock ends early. We are all insane now.
But were just having fun here no?

Lets get back to business here for a second.

While we don't agree with the doom and gloom predictions of others out there, or feel our radio pants go crazy when contract negotiations get sticky, we understand that nothing lasts forever (those are friendly pokes, Plainsman and Richie). We get the feelings too when we think of this Ticket birthday as a transition point, a so called kiss goodbye as the Ticket sails off into the distance and lets the JV take over. In 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, whatever it is. But for now, the Ticket is here. Norm will be there at 10 AM, we will hear what is on Mike's mind at 3:40 PM, TC will play tracks from Super Mario Brothers on the Top Ten and Rich will wake us up at 5:30 with the Ticket Ticker. Enjoy it while it is here. Just our thoughts for today.


  1. This is a good bit you have our attention if you need a obscure JV Ticket employee to join you on Sat @ 6:55 ill be your huckleberry. Keep calling stars broadcasting giving me another reason not to pull the trigger on myself during the shift

    -Fake LHO

  2. Thanks Stephen. If the cheerleaders don't take over and were still upright at that time Saturday we will seek you out.

  3. For those wondering about all the cheerleading shtick. The National Cheerleaders Association is holding its national tournament at Dallas Convention Center the same weekend as the Ticket.

  4. All going according to plan. About to wake up from this drunken nap.

  5. Tee Box waxing nostalgic this morning about the Ticket. George. Craig. Gordon (sorta). Kurt. Cactus. Fernando. Ryhnes. Cat. <---Day oner's left, apparrently.