Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Kill me: Ads

What's the moon made of? Why do dogs have wet noses? Why is the ocean salty? Why is a pizza round? How do cellphones work?

How do you throw a curveball? How high can you jump? How many phone numbers are there? How do fish learn how to swim?

Hi, I'm calling to report a bear sighting!

Kill me.

When these come on there is nothing we can do faster than to lunge for the mute button and/or punch over to Pandora. It is so painful because there are not many of these things, and when they start playing in a P1's ear its like the war veteran hearing the screen door slam. Turn that shit OFF, and NOW!

Lets face it lads, advertisements are the mattress this station sleeps on. Notice the very Carlton Maxwell metaphor people, the ads are sleep for the station. The station would soon die without them, the hosts use them to prepare for Ticket broadcasting consciousness and they occupy approximately 1/3 of the broadcasting day. Right now, the Ticket management and sales staff are popping pills or swilling dream juice to get the sleep it needs. The ads are frankly unhealthy for the existence of the station. Judging from what we hear on air and what we read on blogs next door at the Plainsman's house, people punch out when these things come on. And they punch out hard, to places like 103.3 or 90.1 (NPR, for you uncultured DFW heathens).

The perpetual conflict right? The consumer of radio broadcasting must deal with advertisements, hell the product you are consuming is free anyways. Cable TV has ads and we have to pay for that? So maybe we should just put up with it. Maybe this is just a problem for a station with such devoted listeners that they obligatorily memorize its ads. Or maybe the little Ticket could cause a paradigm shift in how ads are delivered. Require companies to send you collections of ads aimed at one product, instead of using the same one for months, for example. Because right now the advertisements on the Ticket are detrimental to its overall product.


  1. Maybe they could go to a modified infomercial. How about a seven-minute ad for Ankylosing Spondylitis?

  2. What up with the new ads about the Grammys?